If It's Tuesday. . . .

It's Tuesday.

Well, I'm back to the gym on a somewhat regular basis. In the last six days, I've been there four. So, that's saying something. And the diet is slowly getting better.

I pray everyday for some kind of divine intervention. I'm tired of struggling through life like it is. If I had the financial means to retire, I would.

I have a motivational saying on the wall in front of me at work. It says, "Motivation is what gets you started. habit is what keeps you going." —Jim Ryun. I'm trying to get back into the habit. I still can't believe I was sick for almost a full year. Where is the fairness in life? Ugh. At least I felt guilty this morning for not going—then wished I would've gone despite the sinus headache. So that's good. Making excuses for not going doesn't seem like such relief anymore.

I'm going to start doing some writing for Suite101. I already have a couple of people lined up to interview—a personal trainer and a registered dietitian. So be looking for those stories soon. I'll let you know when they're published. I'm looking forward to writing something other than environmental issues. It should be fun.

Music

Fighting the Fight—Again

I got up and went to the gym this morning. I walked for about 30 to 40 minutes. I just walked. I didn't try to over do it. No lifting weights. No running. No using machines. And I feel OK. The pain that I would usually get during exercise didn't manifest itself. I think I'm actually on the mend—this time for sure.

I got on Sparkpeople again to track my exercise and food.

I'm just trying to get the will to fight the fight again. I know you all know what I'm talking about. This year has been such an emotional and physical roller coaster. Now it's time to heal.

Mind Over Food

I saw an ad that said, "How to convince your mind to stop overeating." Well, now that's intriguing, I thought.

My mind game would probably be something like this: "OK now mind"--this is me talking to my mind now. "OK now mind, you've got to stop craving so many foods that bad for me like cake and cookies, and stuff."

"But I want to eat the cake now. Look at it. All chocolatey frosted. I can already taste it. Hey check it out. I'm making the taste buds water. You can't stop it now mind. Once the taste buds get ready to taste something, it better be there ready to be tasted. Oooo, this is gonna be so good."

And then bite. That's what would happen next.

So if anyone has been successful in the mind over food approach, please let me know.

And the Final Diagnosis

Chronic cholecystitis was the final diagnosis on my gall bladder. Apparently its weird little abnormally was genetic--you know the duct that was too narrow. I had a moderate amount of sludge in my gall bladder, and it couldn't squeeze itself out through the narrow duct--causing increasing pain and inflammation each time it had to do its job. It would only have gotten worse. Thank God I found these docs in Uniontown, PA. They took immediate action because they recognized that it was my gall bladder that was causing all the trouble. Thank you, thank you, is what I have to say.

Sorry docs in Morgantown, just standing around doing nothing would've helped.

One thing I would like to mention. The doc was floored at how quickly my surgical wounds are healing. I say it was from all of the exercise that I'd done for more than two years. My skin was getting plenty of oxygen. Two of my incisions are almost fully healed. The other two are still sort of sore, but nothing like what I expected.

I think that anyone considering surgery should make exercise a priority. Or maybe you should just exercise anyway. You'll be healthier in the long run, and when things do have to get you down for a little while--it won't be so bad. You'll heal up quicker.

I'm feeling much better today.

I'm A Slug

The weather has done me no good. My sinuses are killing me. That combined with the constant tiredness from the surgery has made me into a slug. I've done nothing but sleep over the past two days. When I'm awake, I feel terrible. How do I get myself back?

P.S. I'm really looking for inspiration.

Getting Better, Facing Facts

There was a time when I thought I would never be fat again. I'd worked so hard to lose the weight, I was sure I would never regain it. Well, after having been sick for a year, I know now that's no true. Here I am again faced with losing the weight that creeped back on while I wasn't exercising. 

Exercise, I think, helps with just about everything. I think I'm healing pretty quickly from the gallbladder surgery. If I hadn't exercised for two years before this, I think I'd be in much worse shape. Exercising increases your circulation, sending much need oxygen and nutrients to the skin and other organs. So I think I'm healing quicker because of all the work I did before. Now, I just have to get back to it. Next week, I'm going to start walking for 20 to 30 minutes per day to get myself accustomed to exercising again. 

I'm still tired, but the pain is much less than it's been in quite awhile. So here's to working myself back into an exercise mode.

Taking it Slow

Today I feel even better than yesterday. I made a promise to myself. Once I get back to the gym, I'm just going to start out walking. I have no grand ideas about jumping right back into lifting weights and doing hours of cardio. Once I feel strong enough to move on, I will. Until then, it's walking on the track for 20 to 30 minutes to begin.

My diet isn't great, but it's certainly not out of control. I eat a lot of fruit, some veggies, cereal and milk, bread and cheese, milk, and water--lots of water. Probably some stuff I'm forgetting, but it's better than before the surgery. But, in the next few weeks I've got to work out a real healthy diet--you know, one with lots of fresh fruit and veggies, whole grains, lean sources of protein.

Above all this time, I promised myself to hit the psychology side it. Why do I overeat? Even when it doesn't make me feel good? And that's true even while I'm doing it. So, we'll be working on that.

OK. That's it until later.

Feelin' Stronger Everyday

Feelin' better today. I go back to work tomorrow. Today turned out OK, too. So I'm lookin' for the positive life force that lives inside me--somewhere. I know it's there.

They say prayer changes things and they know it's true because they've done studies that support it's benefits. And what's wrong with that?

I've not been eating that much yet--not really very much for a week. So keeping my stomach on the shrunken side should pay off in long run. I've got to get back to work to get a plan going. I have friend there who can help. Healthy eating plan--here I come.

More as I get better.

I Made It Through, And Thank You

Well, I made it through the surgery. I'm still sore but I can tell the surgeon got "the thing" that was bothering me. He sent my gall bladder to pathology so I probably won't know what all of the trouble was until my follow up appointment on October 30. He did say that the duct was too small. I'm not sure if it's always been that way or if it's because of scar tissue. I guess I'll find out October 30. Anyway, I already feel better. I still need to heal, but at least that's an option now.

I feel like I've been shot repeatedly. I have four holes in my belly. And I smell like Bernadine. Nice, huh?

Anyway, just checkin' in. I wanted ya' all to know I'm doin' OK. And thanks so much for all of the concern. Sometimes it amazes me that so many people care. I've found that out over the last year. I can't thank you enough.